I write in rhymes and riddles

to be hard to understand.

They can’t try to catch me

if they don’t know who I am.

The natural world and the solace it would give me
Always seemed so constant and alluring.

But now, how dare the sun shine brightly, or the sky be so blue?
How can the birds bear to sing,
Or the trees stand tall too?
For at this end of misery,
It feels a great offense to be happy.

Sometimes, I have no words for pain
And know not how to heal the wounds.
Yet other times, my heart pours out
and I feel the voices in my mind tumble onto a page
sometimes elegant, sometimes rough,
but with emotion just the same.

I’m sorry, dear friend, for everything
that has befallen you.

Is that what you wanted?
Who am I asking now?
Everyone who has halted their own heartbeat
How can the spirit of freedom escape the cage he was in
Not by laying down
Move off those tracks
Didn’t you hear me
Go back inside
Look at your sisters — that’s where your honor is
Fight for them
Don’t abandon them
People are human — no one is perfect

Show kindness to those who have hurt me

Rise above and be better than anger

Do not allow my emotions to control me

I am allowed to be happy

I am not perfect and I do not need to be

I love myself, and that is who matters most

I don’t want this, and you didn’t ask
Surely I will wake and find reality
But instead reality keeps me from falling asleep
My dreams are pleasant for once
Unlike my conscious world
I hide in denial and darkness
Waiting for any bit of light to be offered to me from you

People shouldn’t know
It isn’t real
No
I refuse
It can’t happen if I don’t want it to

Reality coldly laughs
Scornful and harsh
Get over it already, the world pushes forward

Fine
People don’t have to know how much I hurt
And neither do you
All that matters is that I am still here
And I will appear strong
Until once again it is true

The greatest betrayal would not be the closest friend I have
destroying every bond we shared;

Nor the severing of family ties
out of anger, spite, or hate;

Nor the cunning ploy instrumented
by a clever trickster;

Nor the vengeful jab of rage or jealousy
of an unsuspected ally.

But rather, the greatest betrayal of all
would be to turn back on myself
to seek comfort and acceptance
instead of fighting for my freedom

It’s where my demons hide
No matter what I’ve tried
Thought that they’d subside
But now I’m on their side

It’s where my demons hide
Though you thought I lied
My heart and soul are tied
And now you’re mortified

But they’re inside my mind
Nothing I can do
Will ever stop their words
Nor will it save you

Imprisoned in my own body
My mind trying to break free
No matter what I seem to try
I can’t grasp reality

I knew it was too good
So of course it wasn’t true
How could I ever believe
Any of this to come from you

Can’t help those who refuse
Can’t make them want to live
Tell them things get better, but
Can’t force the alternative