I screamed and I cried
Trying you convince you otherwise

But yet

It was not enough
With the conclusion that
I will never be enough
Just as I am
Because what you want from me I cannot give

So

My heart aches
My voice breaks
And I have tears running down my face

Because today you screamed
Today you cried
And yes you hurt
But I hurt too
Does that not matter to you?

You say it’s fine
That it’s something you’ll have to live with
But how can I face you now?
How can I change?
Cause any effort now according to you is
“Fake”
And I’m still left with the same fate

I’m no longer welcome.
That much has been made clear
And I just don’t know what to do

So

My heart still aches
Though my voice no longer breaks
And there are no tears on my face

My heart. Just. Aches.

Some days it’s almost too good to be true
That our paths crossed and I met you

Some days all I can do is stare
Cause the man I want to spend forever with is right here

There are no words that can express
There is no thing I can do
That will ever perfectly put together
How much I love you

Some days all I can do is dream
What a life with you will be like
And it makes me so happy I could scream

Some days I can’t believe you’re mine
That I get to hold you
And kiss your lips
That I get to laugh and cry with you
And go on crazy awesome adventures too

So today I hope you feel
Just as special
And just as loved
As you make me feel everyday
Cause you are

And oh how I love you so

Words
Easy to write
Harder to say
I wish I could make this all go away

I have so many things I wanna say
But nothing comes out

I try my hardest
Or so I think
Then something happens
And all happiness is gone in a blink

I hate when we fight
It’s always about the same thing
I feel like a failure
And wait for you to take off my ring

My dark passenger
The depression that lurks
Finds its way to the surface
And now my arm hurts

I want to scream
I want to break things
I want all this to be a dream
That nothing is as it seems

But I’m snapped back to reality
Where everything is numb
You say that I’ve hurt you
Made you feel dumb

I’m sorry I’m hesitant!
And that I make mistakes
I hate being this way
Just please don’t go away

I have so many things I wanna say
But nothing comes out

So for now I guess I’ll say
I love you
Please don’t give up

The house is quieter now
I don’t hear your little bell
Or your sometimes annoying
Yet soft and sweet meow

You left unexpectedly
There was nothing I could do
I searched all day
Just to find you laying in the woods

You loved plastics bags
Especially when they were rolled up
You would run and jump
And sometimes the bags would get unrolled
And you’d climb in and get stuck

You wanted and craved attention badly
No matter who you got it from
And no matter where I sat
You were always on my lap

You are forever my baby
My black and white trouble maker
And I love you and miss you so much

It’s not a ring
But baby you are my King
And I want to be your Queen

With this bracelet
I pinky promise to stay by your side
I will hold your hand
And be your guide

Through the ups and downs
Whether we are happy or sad
I pinky promise
To be the one who
Makes you happy again

We will laugh
We will cry
But honey I want to forever call you mine

I know it’s not a ring
But with this bracelet
A promise I make

I pinky promise to love you
With every step I take
Every breath I breathe
And every heartbeat
Until we close our eyes
For the very last time

Some people look in the mirror
And see someone they don’t want to be

But don’t be discouraged
By the reflection you see
It only shows the person you wish
you could change
And maybe that can be arranged

I’m telling you now
That what you see isn’t real
It’s what society has told you
And it isn’t true

So maybe instead of changing your looks
Try changing your mindset
And you’ll start to see yourself
The way I see you

This may be just me
But I see someone with great potential
Someone who is influential

A person who has fought to be strong
To figure out where they belong
Someone who is beautiful
Not only inside but out too

So look again
But from a different perspective
And perhaps you’ll find
That you’re not defective

143
This code
This line of numbers
So many possibilities of what it could be
For now only meant to be known by me

143

I want to scream
I want to shout
Let the world know that without a doubt

143

You might be confused
But to me it makes sense
This string of numbers
That hold so much significance

143

I want to say it to your face
I want to be strong
But here I am
Writing how I feel about you
In this notebook on my phone

143

You cracked the passcode
Bypassed my security
Just like you did my heart
Though in my eyes you’ll see no fury
Just

143

I’ll tap it on your arm
Or while we are holding hands
It’s so subtle
So soft
But speaks volumes of the feelings I have for you

143

For now all I will say
Is I really like you
And hope someday
I will have the strength to tell you
What I have written here today

You are over there
I am over here

It feel like miles
It feels like an eternity
I wish you were sitting right beside me

When you’re away
I look at the sky and think
You and me
We see the same thing
The same stars and constellations
The same sun and blue sky too

For a brief moment,
A second
A minute
We’re connected
And the distance between us
Isn’t so bad

Then reality hits me again
I lose my breathe
Tears roll down my cheek
Suddenly
You are over there
I am over here

They say love is blind
You never see it coming
Which is true since technically we met
Out of the blue

I promised myself I wouldn’t rush
Said I would never be quick
to fall in love again
But you swept me off my feet
Made my heart soar
And baby dont you know
It’s so hard to get my feet back on the floor

Your humor astounds me
Your laugh makes my day
You always find ways to show
What a true gentlemen you are
I can’t stop looking in your eyes
I never want to say goodbye

I’m scared to fall too hard
That what we have will end
I’m not asking for forever
That seems a bit too much yeah?
I just want a chance.
A chance to find real love
Is that to much to ask?

The truth?
I’m scared.

I’ve fallen for you
And I just dont know what to do
These feelings In my heart
Wont go away
They’re here to stay

Boys I have dated in the past
Have told me they loved me
And it didn’t last

I’m afraid to love you
Cause in doing so
I give you the power to crush me
But also to love me

I’m afraid to give too much
Just to get little in return
I’m tired of fighting for something
That’s gone in a blur

I’m afraid to be blinded by my affection for you
That I can’t see the truth

And my friends?
They’re far away
Too far to give advice
Besides, what would they say?

The truth?
I think I’m hopelessly in love with you
And theres nothing I can do

Trusting someone with your heart
Is a brave thing to do
You give them the power to love you
But to crush you too

When I met you
I hadn’t fully recovered
From a breakup with the man
I first gave my love to

But what we had
It felt so right after things had gone so wrong
So I thought, “Why the hell not?”

We had fun
And we went on adventures
I told you my secrets
And my hearts desires

But push comes to shove
All beginnings have an end
Ours just ended shorter than I expected

“Temporary” you say
You need to find yourself
Little did you know
I could have gone with you
You didn’t need to put me on a shelf

I just have to trust you
Hope you’ll come back to me
But if not then I guess
This is the end

I hate goodbyes
So “See you soon” will have to do
I will always remember how I felt
When I met you

I dream of the things
I want to say
But I can never say them

I dream of the things
I want to do
But I can never do them

Because when it comes to you
What I say and what I do
Only gets reflected back to me

I avoid fights by keeping
My thoughts to myself
Even though its been proven that
It doesn’t help

I want to scream at you
So that maybe you’ll see
That you have put other things
Before me
But thats only in my dreams

I dream of what I want to say
What I want to do

But I never can
Because it all comes back to me
As if the problem
Is not you.

This is for a friend of mine who died before her time…

It’s been a few days, and it still doesnt feel real
I think back to the days when we sat with our group at lunch during junior year

I can’t think about you too much without crying
And I can’t stop but wonder about the things you won’t get to see.
You won’t get to do

People are mean and rude
They say cruel words without a second thought as to what they do

You
A person so kind and sweet
Judged because the way she dressed and acted was less than discreet

But did you take a second to ask
Just what exactly she liked to do to make time pass?
She celebrated the earth and everything in it
Every bug and tree, every human spirit

She taught me more about love and grace
And How to put on a strong face
She showed me that life has so much more meaning
Even though she thought that hers was not worth living

Please.
Stay strong
Even if you feel like you don’t belong
The impact you’ll leave is so much bigger than you might think.

My name is Bittersweet Reflections
Ive been a poet on here for some time
And I find it quite funny that I now live by a street called…
Bittersweet

Maybe it’s a sign
Both literally and figuratively mind you
That it’s time to start writing again
Time to stop singing the blues

A new chapter in my life has begun
So a new chapter I will write
There are so many things out there for me to find
Inspiration around every corner
An idea ready to take flight

So with new words and phrases
New stories and rhymes
Im ready to start again
By spreading my wings to fly

I used to write good poems
And have words flow from my mind
But that’s no longer true
This cruel world has caught up to me
And has me singing the blues

I wrote about love and adventure
The stars up in the sky
I wrote about personal growth and friendship
And the injustice of today’s society

Now I write about drepression and pain
The difficult choices I make
I write about the struggles I’m going through
And that’s not fair to you

I used to write good poems
And soon that will be true again
I just have to take a brake and breathe
And let the words flow once again